Beware of Snownadoes

A few years back when I was doing my undergraduate studies at Minnesota State University-Mankato, I was told that there were these things called snownadoes.


Naturally, I was horrified! I had already been traumatized by the fact I was greeted by a tornado on one of the first few days after I had moved to the state. I lived in a town, St. Peter, that was about 15 miles away from Mankato. So, there I was, hunched over in the corner of my basement with the rest of the tenants in my apartment building. It was a great bonding moment for us. Of course, that may have had to do more with the fact they had to listen to me spaz out and go crazian on the phone with a former instructor who suggested Mankato was the place for me. During and after this phone call, loud thuds and clangs could be heard as if we were surrounded by a herd of drunken elephants using the building to support and correct their staggering, the power went out, and I was sure the building was coming down.

I cursed his name and yes, there were tears involved…HEY! My life flashed before my eyes people! Don’t judge. My neighbors, who I had just met moments before, offered to hold me and comfort me for which I was grateful.
Needless to say, I was not a fan of tornadoes. So, imagine my horror, HORROR I SAY! when some of friends started explaining that Minnesota was a land where bizarre and magical things happened in the winter. Snownadoes…WHAT!?!? You mean to tell me I have to worry about winter tornadoes! Magical, Shmagical!  Well, I went to my gender class all in a tizzy and apparently, I was quite pale since all the color had drained from my face at the blood shed and massacre that was occurring in the scenario playing out in my head. A fellow class mate asked me if I was okay. NO I WAS NOT! I explained how I just learned about the snownadoes and the aforementioned scenario, which involved ice shard projectiles and ice balls that bludgeoned. My class mates mocked…they laughed… and pointed.

Apparently snownadoes didn’t exist and I was had. My friends often made up lies to tell me just to see if I would believe them. It was a running game amongst my team members.

Well, guess what gentle readers. This just in: they DO exist!

Apparently this winter is now being referred to as the snowpocalypse and people are freaking out all over the country, especially in the Midwest. Well, if I had to deal with ice weapons being flung at me by mother nature wreaking havoc and creating a frozen hell on Earth, I too would be flipping out. She is pissed off!!! If we’re not careful, we’re going to be dealing with another ice age. I’m telling you! We need to start recycling, trade in your car for a smart car or electric. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLANT A FRACKING TREE! REPENT! REPENT! RE…wait, what?
Ahem…sorry, the snowpocalypse brings out the worst in me. Did I mention snownadoes horrify me? The sub-freezing temperatures (not enough to close school mind you even though every other region surrounding me has shut down completely) and the uncanny gusts of never-ending wind (ice weapons!) is enough to make me want to assume the fetal position and whimper “hold me” to anyone who happens to be near by. 
Well, gentle readers, wherever you may be…I urge you to beware of the snownadoes and may we all get through this snowpocalypse…
So say we all.
(I’ve recently been watching a lot of BSG, so forgive my references)

I’m gonna end this post with another photo of a drunken elephant because it makes me smile.

11 comments

  1. Katsidhe · February 3, 2011

    Snow-na-does? O_O OMG they sound terrifying and I kinda want to go chasing one now!

    Like

  2. jono · February 3, 2011

    Anything not related to elephants is irrelephant. 🙂

    Like

  3. paulsifer42 · February 2, 2011

    Oh, it really is an awesome state, and the weather usually just ends up cold, not too dangerous.

    Like

  4. Underground Dude · February 2, 2011

    @Yvonne I too want Spring, Amen!

    @paulsifer42 I almost forgot about the green skies. On some winter nights there were also the aurora borealis, which was really cool. Despite the tornadoes and snownadoes, I miss Minnesota a lot.

    @Galen Pearl Glad to hear I was able to help in your time of need with the Flu. Hope you get to feeling better. I hate hate hate being sick.

    @Frisky Virgin I had thought winters were also safe…nope. HAH! It does indeed sound like a Saturday night Syfy flick. 🙂

    Like

  5. The Frisky Virgin · February 2, 2011

    Okay, I'm totally horrified. I'm a Texan, so I'm no stranger to tornadoes and other serious weather conditions…BUT I always thought once winter arrived, we no longer had to fear tornadoes. Crap. Clearly, I was wrong!!! Snownadoes. Fan-friggin-tastic.

    Snownadoes…sounds like a Saturday night Syfy movie.

    Like

  6. Galen Pearl · February 2, 2011

    What a great pick me up while I am still in bed with the flu. Very entertaining. Snownadoes! A terrific post. Thanks.

    Like

  7. paulsifer42 · February 2, 2011

    Yeah, I went on an LDS mission to Minnesota, and I know what you mean about the crazy weather. I remember when the whole sky turned green, that was pretty awesome. And the once a month Tornado warning sirens (just to make sure they worked). I love Minnesota…

    Like

  8. Yvonne · February 1, 2011

    I'm in Texas and world are colliding over here bcause of this crazy storm! We're expecting snow on Friday and that's all the news reporters can talk about. I want Spring!!! Oh well, thanks for the lesson on Snowadoes. Very enlightening! 🙂 Stay warm!

    Like

  9. ladydayton · February 1, 2011

    Last Thanksgiving my husband and I were in Upstate NY visiting his folks. While we were there we got pounded by Lake effect snow and had well over 3 feet in a matter or 2 hours or so. While the snow was falling in these massively huge wet flakes it began to thunder and lightning. Like a full on, when's the hail and tornado coming, get me to the basement now! kind of lightning and thunder. I believe my words were something to the effect of “Holy Mother of God, what the h***!?!” Of course laughter ensued from my husband and his parents assuring me that was quite normal. Well this southern girl had never even dreamed such a thing. So, now I guess I need to add snownadoes to my list of fears. Lovely. 🙂

    Like

  10. Pickleope · February 1, 2011

    Snownadoes!?! We just got over our fear of sand-tsunamis and spontaneous dolphin rape, now there are snownadoes to worry about! Save us Agoraphobia, you're our only hope.

    Like

  11. Not the Hero · February 1, 2011

    I don't understand what you Americans are all so worried about. No matter how bad it gets down there it is always worse up here. Yet you never hear us complaining. (Could be because snow is a great sound insulator)

    Have fun.

    Oh I almost forgot, look up another weird winter weather pattern. One not so terrifying the “chinook” I loves them. Snowdadoes happy cousin.

    Like

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